Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
