i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
