I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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