It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
