I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
