We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
