Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
