all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
