hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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