Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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