Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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