We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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