ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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