Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
This gyro tastes like lonliness
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
