Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
