he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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