the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
