so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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