did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
