Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
