literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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