No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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