i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
