chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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