This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
