I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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