i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
