At least make sure they are 18
Why
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
