Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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