just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
