so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
