Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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