my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
