i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
