Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
