I want to make a zoo with you.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
