Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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