you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Randomize
