There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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