Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
