She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
