I wanna bring you to show and tell
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
FUCK WHALES
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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