I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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