Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
