all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
