i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
