I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
