I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
