It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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