Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
so let's talk penis.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
