The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
