she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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