You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
They took my balls.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
